I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize