just come out here and I will go home with you...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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