Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
