Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
