Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
