I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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