Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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