Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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