Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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