After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
