I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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