Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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