what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
