I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
