We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
