so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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