First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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