Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
