i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
only you would photoshop your dick
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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