Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
