How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
