Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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