its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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