oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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