after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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