i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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