Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
