Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
