so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
