..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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