she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize