I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my god I love twenty year old dicks
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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