Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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