we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He had one of those small greek statue penises
His hands were made for my vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
