Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize