I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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