we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
