I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
