I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
