he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
