I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
