Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
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