i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
