as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
