you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
