just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
