Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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