I just pynch a tree in the face
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
