What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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