i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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