We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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