shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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