So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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