I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
