how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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