so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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