dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
