I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
